When a narcissist is in crisis (also known as imploding), you may hear the word "suicide" dropped now and then, and it may sound very convincing. I usually look out for certain key words and phrases, to determine how serious this threat is. And a narcissist will also drop these key words and phrases. So, this causes concern followed by your emotional involvement. You may drop everything and run to the narcissist.
The thing is, a narcissist does suicide ideation, but they will not follow through. In fact, when there is a blur in the line as to whether a person has a narcissist personality disorder (NPD) or a borderline personality disorder (BPD), it all comes down to suicide. A person with BPD will follow through with taking their own life.
Why do narcissists do this? To get your sympathy. To reel you back in. He is betting that you will drop all your anger towards him and replace it with concern. That you will go to him and talk to him, give him sympathy, take care of him, and, ultimately, go back to him. The best thing to do if you are concerned that he is so down that he will take his life is to call 911. After that little adventure, he'll think twice before mentioning suicide again.
Another way of working on your heart strings is to tell you that he is very sick. And if he does have health conditions, he will exaggerate them. All, so you will come back and care for him. This is just another method to reel you back in. Again, this is done to trigger an emotional response from you. The answer to all of this, is to simply suggest that he go see a doctor or call 911. These illnesses can range from anything from a cold to a heart attack. Or he may say that he's got several serious conditions. If he does have them, they will be exaggerated. All this to draw you in. To get you emotionally involved, so you will forget about all the harm that he has put you through. When all else fails, the hoovering, the love bombing, etc, then they turn to suicide and/or illness to get your attention. When you feel your heart strings tugging, sit down and think about why you left. All the reasons, one-by-one. In fact, you may want to write them down as a permanent reminder.
Keep in mind that after you have left the narcissist, you are the one that is in a fragile state. You are the one who needs to focus on healing. The last thing you need to get involved with is this needless drama. Remember, narcissists love drama, any type of drama, and they will feed off your kindness and concern.
The thing to do in this situation is to, in a calm manner, tell him to see a doctor. If he's describing something serious, to call 911. And, please, if he does choose to call 911, do not meet him at the hospital. Some will do all it takes to create drama. And then, some of them would never call 911 because all the sirens and hoopla would create negative attention. And the image of the person he projects himself to be would be tarnished.
This is especially difficult to do if you still love the narcissist. Keep in mind that you are in a very fragile state and that he will just use your emotions as supply. Remember, the narcissist feeds off your supply. He does not care about you. All he cares about is getting his supply. This is why they are called Energy Vampires.
For situations as these, and just everyday life with the hoovering and love bombing that goes on, it is important that you go to therapy. And, by "therapy" I mean trauma therapy by a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, This is critical. Someone you can call in these types of situations when your emotions have been attacked, once again. Actually, it would be great if you had a support system of people you could call. Know that this angst that you may be going through is supplying him with your energy. Once you can take an objective look at what he does, it is much easier to deal with. Learn to protect yourself, because all his communication with you is nothing but more emotional abuse.
If the narcissist loved you, he would never have put you through psychological abuse in the first place. And after you have left, if he loved and respected you, he would not be playing these cruel games. Notice that every time he said that he loved you throughout your relationship, the actions that followed did not reflect that love.
What kind of person would perform such cruel acts? A highly manipulative person, Narcissists are experts in manipulating people. Cut those puppet strings that are attached to him, because that's what he's using you as................... A puppet.
Hope this post has helped you. Please feel free to share your comments below. And remember...............
Be GOOD to YOU.
No comments:
Post a Comment