When a narcissist is done with a relationship, he simply "discards" the partner. Now, a narcissist will not just discard and cut himself off from any type of supply. The narcissist will have backup supply. He's been priming someone else to take your place. Fresh supply, so to speak.
If you are discarded, the narcissist will not hoover, because his new supply is keeping him "full."
By the way, I did not misspell the word hover. Hoover is a narcissistic term used instead of hover, because they suck you in. As in the "Hoover" vacuum cleaner.
While I'm on this subject, let me go over other lingo used in the narcissistic community.
Gaslight: An extremely cruel form of brainwashing that makes you doubt yourself and the reality you live in.
Flying Monkeys: People who believe everything the narcissist tells them and who do the narcissist's bidding. Adopted from The Wizard of Oz; the wicked witch who had her flying monkeys do her bidding.
Gray Rock: When you don't participate in the narcissist's drama. You don't react when they push your buttons.
Love Bombing: The initial display of love, attention and gifts.
Smear Campaign: When the narcissist obliterates your character to his flying monkeys.
Discard: When the narcissist no longer needs you.
Projection: When the narcissist attributes his own negative traits on to you.
Narcissistic Rage: This occurs when some type of injury is triggered. It can be the smallest slight. This is one of those times when he projects onto you his negative traits,
Shaming: Making you feel worthless by the things he says.
Devalue: When the love bombing stops and the narcissist starts in with condescending statements, raging at you, shaming, ignoring you........... When you start feeling like a piece of furniture.
Silent Treatment: When the narcissist doesn't talk to you or even acknowledge that you exist. This can be done effectively even while living in the same house. It can go on for days, months, and I've heard tell, even years.
And there are more............
Keep in mind, that the gaslighting stage starts when you first meet the narcissist, during the love bombing stage. They have to prime you and make sure that you will be a suitable supply,
But, back to what I was saying......... Being discarded can be very hurtful, especially if you are still in love with the narcissist. You may think............ What did I do wrong? You have done nothing wrong. You are the one who has been wronged. In fact, if you have been discarded, be thankful and just move on. Of course, please go to therapy so you can work on why you became attracted to the narcissist in the first place. Chances, you are co-dependent or an empath, or maybe both. And during your time with the narcissist, you have been psychologically wounded,
However, the narcissist may very well be back and start the love bombing process all over again, It could be weeks, months, or even years after the discard takes place. This happens when either the new supply does not meet his expectations, or he's gone through the love bombing and devalue stage. Maybe she escaped. And, escape is the proper term for when you leave the narcissist because, in reality, you are literally escaping.
Anyway, if the narcissist is low on supply, he may start hoovering and love bombing you to reel you back in. Don't let him do it. Because there will be a short honeymoon period and it will go back to the way it was, maybe even worse. If you are reeled in after you escape, he may very well punish you for leaving.
After either being discarded or escaping, it is important to go "no contact" to a place where he can't find you and never answer any phone calls or emails. Don't even read the emails. Just delete them. No, he doesn't still love you. He "needs" your supply. Or he wants to keep you on the back burner for future supply.
Being discarded can seem to be the most hurtful thing you have ever endured. But, in reality, it is a blessing in disguise.
In the end, the most important thing of all.............. Be GOOD to YOU.
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